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Build God, then We'll TalkI walked down the sidewalk, still trying to figure out what to do. The world was shattering around me and all I wanted to do was scream. There was no one there for me to confide it, no one to hear me cry. I hugged myself against the bitter cold and felt my tears fall like ice down my cheeks, hoping they wouldn't freeze. I wasn't sure exactly where I was going, but I knew I couldn't go back. I couldn't deal with the heartache that was always in that house.
The strangers around me didn't seem to have anything to worry about. They were all too busy making phone calls and heading to the next business meeting to notice the girl shivering in just a sweatshirt and jeans. I looked at the people on the sidewalk and wondered how differently their lives were than mine. I noticed a couple holding hands, leaning against each other with smiles on their faces, and envied their intimacy, longing for a person of my own to love.
A horn honked and I realized that I was stepping into traffic when the ligh
I've spent so long in this state
But yet I fail to get used to it
I cannot bear this agonising wait
Descending in a sordid mental pit
At times it is too much to bear
Strangled by the constant despair
Damaged too much, beyond repair
Why is it that you refuse to care
Although deep down I'm too aware
There's nothing else I can ever be
It just hurts that it's not enough
Everyone else is much better than me
Held back by all that mental stuff
Only a tattered psychological ruin
Unable to accept this hideous fate
I No longer know what I am doing
Never managing to think straight
You only just see straight through
Staring beyond this ugly apperition
My form horrid, polluting your view
Regardless of my friendly ambition
Cast back and listlessly cast aside
Those eyes are trapped elsewhere
While I'm painfully dying inside
A life halted and going nowhere
Left wallowing in my own discontent
Amongst the broken peices of dreams
Lying shattered, broken and bent
Can't really be as bad as i
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More